I Learned It From The Radio

Last Friday, I went to a house party and started talking to the host. He proudly started telling me that he works as an MC at one of those hip and trendy clubs in Amsterdam, you know, the ones where they wear hats and Iron Maiden t-shirts while drinking Gin Tonic. After spending something that seemed like hours of him showing me videos of his performances, I politely told him that I wasn’t really impressed by what he did and that no matter what he told me, I would never be. At that moment, he looked up at me and said, “You know what.. You are a very beautiful girl so, and I love looking at you, so I don’t want you to leave, but I think you should stand there in the corner so I can continue to look at you, but I don’t have to listen to you”.

It shouldn’t come as much of a shock that I declined his little proposition and continued on talking because, well I love to talk. There is one thing that I like more than talking though, well actually two things, writing is definitely one of them, the other one is singing.

Technically maybe it’s not particularly singing, but it’s music in general. I can listen to music for hours without saying a word. If you travel with me or on your own, it makes no difference because no matter how long the flight, train, or bus ride, I will listen to my music and keep my mouth shut for hours.

While traveling to Poland with my parents when I was younger, I would sit in the backseat and have my iPod on for the whole 14 hours, or when the battery died to be fair. My parents always hated it because they thought something was wrong or that I was upset, but this is, most of the time, far from true. On weekends I can easily just lay in my bed or on the couch listening to music for hours on my headphones. When I lived with roommates, it caused some problems because I had to explain on a daily basis that I didn’t want to get up from bed, not because I was upset but because I just enjoyed spending hours and hours listening to my favorite artists/bands and the music and especially the lyrics without any distractions.

I only play the piano when I need to blow off some steam and I have some unresolved emotions that I need to let out. I never really realized this until I came home one day and started playing again. My mom came in, sat down next to me, and asked what was wrong. I didn’t really want to tell her that I was going through some guy issues at the time, so I just kept my mouth shut and asked her why she asked, and she told me – You know that the only times that you play is when something is going on, and you need an outlet. At that moment, I realized that without music, I would probably end up in a mental institution pretty soon because it just helps me process anything that is going on at that moment in my life.

I guess the point is that even though I love music to the extent that I can’t live a second without it, I don’t like to listen to it out loud. I don’t like it when people ask me what I’m listening to because for some reason, I find it very personal. The music that I listen to is an exact reflection of my feelings at that particular moment. Please note that these feelings don’t necessarily have to be bad. I can listen to a very happy song that makes me feel like I’m on top of the world, but I still don’t feel that I should be sharing that with everyone around me.

I’ve never been really good at expressing my emotion in words, or I guess verbally because you’re reading about my feelings now, right? If you want to know how I feel about you or how I feel about a certain situation, just ask me to write it down, or otherwise I can probably find about 10 songs that can explain it way better than I ever could.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really like dates because they make me very anxious to the extent that I don’t want to go because of the other people around. Now living in a society where “Netflix and Chill” have become a code word for “come over to my house,” I was robbed of using that as a valid date option. Though if I have to go outside, I always really enjoyed going for a drive. It sounds lame and comes to think of it, it can even be taken out of context sooner than Netflix and Chill, but I like driving around and listening to music without having a particular place to go to. For some reason, it just makes me feel free, and if you can sit there in silence, listen to music, and drive, I can’t think of a more perfect way to spend my time.

Living a life without music wouldn’t be living at all. No matter what genre you prefer or no matter what artists give you that special feeling, music is about emotions. I remember going to Graspop and I have been to many festivals before but there was just something different about this one. The moment that you walked into the event area, you could feel that the people were united. People that are normally judged because of their taste in music now find others that like the same things as they do. I heard so many stories in those four days about people getting bullied in high school because of their music and wardrobe choices. It’s funny to see that after all those years, the people that bullied them, these slaves of fashion, are the ones with the band t-shirts.

Listening to and making music has taught me a lot in life. The opera has taught me how to feel without understanding the actual words. Rock music has taught me that it’s ok to feel mad and sad at the same time. Country music has taught me that all you need during a heartbreak are guitars and whiskey. Pop music has taught me that no matter how you feel, there are always people that feel the same way and Hip Hop… well, Hip Hop just taught me that I can feel, whenever I please, like a motherf*** P.I.M.P.

If it wasn’t for music, I don’t think I would know how to feel; it taught me all. I learned it all…

I learned it from the Radio