Don’t Compare Your Chapter 1 To Someone Else’s Chapter 20
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Achievements. Those special moments of pride in our accomplishments. Unfortunately, in this day and age, with social media at our disposal 24/7, it’s hard to let go of the need to compare. But what would happen if we tried to let go of those emotions and start celebrating our own storyline?
It’s part of our instinct to look around at what others are doing, and social media has made this more accessible and easier for us. You’re at home after a long day at work. The only thing you want to do is relax. You turn on the tv and turn on your comfort show. However, before you even consciously notice, you’ve grabbed your phone and started scrolling – Oh, look! An Influencer in the Maldives, you think to yourself while thinking back to your last trip, “why have I never been there?” You scroll further. Ah, another Youtube Finance Guru explaining how to make six figures by investing in real estate. You look around your studio apartment and check your bank statement. “80 euros for the rest of the month… that’s doable...-ish”. You decide to open another social media app and see your friend from middle school getting married while you’re waiting for another monthly payment for your Tinder subscription being deducted from your account. And even though we all wish we could be one of those people who see these posts and think, “good for them,” and go on with their evening, I don’t think most of us are.
When these feelings pop up in your mind, please remember it’s a universal feeling. Everyone experiences these types of emotions. We might not have the same triggers, but we all have our insecurities and buttons that sometimes get subconsciously pushed. The only way to overcome this is by being aware of what provokes these feelings and either distancing yourself from them or embracing them. Think about your own priorities and write them down. Now, whenever you feel like you want to compare yourself to someone having something you may not even truly want, you can revisit your own priorities.
To give you an example, when I was about 16 years old, all my friends had boyfriends. I didn’t. I dabbled a bit in the teenage dating pool if you will, but in the words of Taylor Swift, my experiences could be compared to: “I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay.” Whenever my friends and I met up, the conversation rapidly shifted toward relationship-related topics, and I didn’t have anything to add. I just sat there, staring at my friends. I didn’t even really want a boyfriend at the time; I just felt since everyone else had one, it was something that I should have as well. It took me almost eight years to be able to contribute to those get-togethers, but I can finally say that I now have five years of material to bring to those gatherings.
At the start of my career, a similar thing happened. I graduated in 2013 when many companies were still recovering from the financial crisis. It took three years for me to get a junior position. When I look at students who graduated a couple of years later, those same companies were back on their feet again and had people lined up to start the second they graduated college. At the time, I felt I had wasted those years applying and applying with no positive outcome. I was behind, and I had to make up for them.
What I’m trying to say is – everyone starts from a different starting point in their lives. Not everyone’s cards have been dealt equally, so why would we compare ourselves as if they were? Just because someone is the same age as you, hold the same position, or grew up in the same neighborhood, everyone deals with situations differently and walks their path.
Remember, next time, you need to look around and compare yourself. Look at the person you were and how far you’ve already come. That’s the only comparison you need to make.
