Frosty With No Man Part II
On January 1, I said to my friends, and I bet I’m not the only one,“I’m not going to drink for an entire month!” On January 2 I already found myself with a glass of wine in my hand. Every person begins the New Year with resolutions. Even if you’re not one of those people that makes a list and posts “New Year, New Me” on your socials, we all think of changing something about ourselves.
It has been two weeks since I finished reading ‘Mars and Venus on a date’, and I realized there’s one thing I’d like to give a shot this year. Last blog post, I wrote about picking the wrong men and how I read that you shouldn’t start dating a man that you’re instantly physically attracted to because, at that point, you’re falling for the person that you make him out to be in your head and not the actual person. Allegedly the most successful relationships are the ones that start out with a woman having mental chemistry with a man, while the first level of attraction for a man is physical attraction, and mental chemistry doesn’t appear until level three (like video games nowadays aren’t complicated enough). I use the word allegedly here because I have no personal experience yet to prove that this theory is correct, but it has left me wondering while looking at my surroundings.
I realize I made an excel sheet on dating, and to be honest, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this. I am starting to believe that I should have paid less attention in business school and more attention to social activities. On the other hand, maybe this means that Sheldon and Amy were on to something with their relationship agreement.
What I started noticing around me after letting this information sink in is that most of my friends that have a long-lasting relationship are not with a man that they were immediately attracted to in the beginning, but after tons of disappointment and heartbreak from men that they were convinced about that they were ‘the one’ because they felt such extreme and passionate emotions during their time together that they figured “hey what the hell this guy treats me right let’s just give him a chance” and good that they did because maybe sometimes a carousel is better than a roller coaster.
“Men are like blowtorches that can heat up really fast and then turn off in an instant. Women are like ovens: they slowly heat up and slowly cool off.”
Let me introduce y’all to something that I like to call the quarterback syndrome. Back in High School, we all had a crush on the quarterback. I don’t care if your school was more into football, basketball, or soccer or didn’t even have a sports team, the quarterback, in this case, is just referring to the most popular guy in school. Doesn’t matter who you were in high school. You know exactly who I’m talking about. He was probably gorgeous, rich, athletic, and had the most beautiful smile, and he just needed to look at you, and you would swim to England if he asked you to. On the other hand, he was probably also mean, disrespectful, manipulative, and most likely not the smartest. But we still all imagined what it would be like to be with him. It’s like wanting to be with Justin Bieber when all women know deep down they deserve Harry Styles.
I was talking to a girl at work about a guy that she stopped seeing. She found out that he was mean to the girl he was seeing before her. I asked her why she made that decision, and she simply answered: “Why would I want to date a guy that doesn’t treat people right?” I guess the only answer to that question is Amen.
The problem with life after high school is that we don’t have these clear cliques anymore that differentiate the quarterback from the geek. The guy that you met at a bar can appear to be the sweet lab partner you had back in high school until after a couple of dates, he stops calling, stops replying to your texts, and is too busy with work and friends and then it hits you that he has always been the quarterback.
Life does work in mysterious ways, and in a couple of years, you’ll be happy that you didn’t end up getting knocked up on prom night by the quarterback, that is now a bald cab driver looking back on his glory days (13 going on 30 reference). You’ll be happy that you found someone that appreciates you and maybe is a little less popular or good-looking or athletic or has less money or doesn’t take you on all those thrilling roller coaster rides but does know how to take care of you and you know what? Maybe that’s just it, and if you just let all those expectations go, in a while, you will feel the love you hear about in country music, where love is as sweet as Whiskey.
Maybe we’ve just forgotten how sweet Whiskey can be until we’ve compared it to the bitter taste of Vodka.
