Could have, Would have, Should have
“No “Ragrets”…you know what I’m sayin’?”
Nothing in life is certain, right? So why do we live like it is? We make decisions and hold on to them because that is what we thought was best at the time and after we are reminded yet again of the absence of certainty, all we are left with is regret.
I think the worst part of having memories is regret. When you look back on a certain situation and think to yourself – I wish I did or said that. Sure sometimes it can be the other way around and that you actually did something that you regret doing but mostly it is the things that you end up not doing that you regret.
There’s a French tradition where you write down your regrets on a piece of paper and you attach it to a miniature sailboat and let it float away. This should help you get rid of all your feelings of regret. I’ve always tried living without regret, mostly because that’s the only way you can keep going when you wake up after a fun night out and think “oh no, what have I done?” But what I said earlier, regretting because you did something is not half as bad as regretting something that you should’ve done.
Keeping memories intact has always been pretty important to me and that is why I’ve always kept every single travel and concert ticket or actually anything that reminds me of a particular moment. Some people might find it a little excessive, but yes, I still have that backstage pass from when I organized FashionWeek or the World Beach Soccer tournament or that note I got during class in High School, or even the movie ticket of my first date. I have it all. My mother is going crazy because it’s taking up half her shed, but yes I have kept it.
By keeping these things, I can remind myself of the moments that I find myself too busy to remember. It’s like sitting down with your grandmother while drinking tea and going through old photo albums, only with our memories, the pictures and tickets will be on our phones or computers, and for me seeing something on a screen doesn’t give me the same feeling as having it in my hands.
Regret is what you can feel after you’ve had McDonald’s at 5 am. Regret is what you feel after a night of clubbing when you realize that not having that last drink could’ve been the one that saved you from not ending up on the floor, and regret is probably what I’ll feel after I’ve had all these donuts.
Regret should, however, not be the feeling of constant doubt if your life would have turned out differently if you had just taken that chance. It shouldn’t be the constant what if in your mind and the worries about what might happen if you say or do what you feel or want. Life is scary, and it should be. That is what gives you that constant thrill and makes you actually feel alive. My advice? Just do it. The outcome might surprise you, and if not, at least you tried.
