Fake It Till You Make It- A Story About Imposter Syndrome
“First of all, you have to be aware that you are the baddest b*tch. You got this”
I bought new sunglasses this week. Now I hear you thinking “what does that have to do with anything…?” Well, let me tell you. When I put them on, I wasn’t completely convinced I wanted to keep them. You see, they are the newest runway hype. Rectangular sunglasses are apparently where it’s at this summer. The only issue for me was that I don’t really believe that I’m cool enough to pull them off. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt extremely pretentious. “Who do I think I am?” I said to myself. I figured I’d sleep on it and the next day I woke up, I gathered all my confidence and decided “screw it. I’m tired of not feeling like I’m not cool. I am cool. I’m keeping them”.
Fake it till you make it has always been a bit of a weird concept to me. I was taught to be myself, work hard, and eventually, I’d achieve my goals. However, when I heard my manager say it last week, I started thinking. Is that what we’re doing? Ok, that’s one way to go… but what if people find out? Wouldn’t they think I’m a fraud?
What is imposter syndrome?
The definition of Imposter Syndrome describes individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud.
I am aware that putting on sunglasses is not an accomplishment per se. However, feeling like you have to earn a spot at the “cool table of life” and are only then allowed to wear certain things - is. Let me give you some other examples of imposter syndrome in my daily life.
Imposter syndrome at work
I work as a copywriter in the fashion industry. And since writing is not a hard skill, it’s challenging to see accomplishments in them. For years I’ve struggled with thoughts like “when will they discover that I have no idea what I’m doing” or “I got here not because of any skill that I have; it’s just luck” or the classic “When will they find out that I’m literally just winging it.”
It took the point where I got promoted to start believing people do have faith in me and trust me to make decisions because, apparently, I know what I’m doing. Even though, to be completely honest with you, half of the time, I don’t feel like I do.
Imposter syndrome in relationships
Even though I mostly see Imposter syndrome talked about when it revolves around the workplace, I still notice it in myself when it comes to my relationship. I’ve been in a relationship for approximately five years now, and still, every time I call my boyfriend, my boyfriend, in front of him, I have a short second of complete panic where I think, “oh no, I just called him my boyfriend. Now he knows that I think of him that way. What if he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend?”.
For me, all these examples come from a place of constant anxiety. I fear I’m not good enough, I fear everyone is always more intelligent than me, and I fear I didn’t actually achieve anything in my life. And I also know that whatever I’ll do next. I will never see it as a form of success.
What are my next steps to break this cycle? Talk about it. If social media has taught me anything – we’re not special. And I don’t mean that in a negative way but actually in a highly positive way. You shouldn’t feel the odd one out because if you’re feeling something, there are numerous people out there that feel the same. By sharing your experience and helping others with their struggles, you’ll eventually start believing in your own capabilities. Surround yourself with people that make you feel valued and do celebrate your accomplishments. And you know what, if you don’t believe yourself, believe them. You’ll see, you’re the baddest b*tch out there.
Now, that’s what they should mean when they say Fake it till you make it.
